I Miss You
by Plushiesformone
Summary: A short, depressing and sad Ruscan fic. Centered mostly on Russia.


Ivan stood by his open door, transfixed on something, though the snow was rushing in and chilling him to the bone. That didn't matter. He was missing something, or more like, someone... He had messed up again and this time he worried it might have been for good. Standing by the door with trembling hands, he slowly shut it after a good amount of snow blew into his house. The figure who had, for once, not stormed out but left in what seemed to be quiet defeat... was not coming back.

He really didn't mean to hurt people, just sometimes when he was sad or upset, he would lash out against anyone who was close to him. He had done it before, and lost so many friendships from it, and he really did try to keep it under control, he really did... Going and sitting himself down on the couch, Ivan stared into the flickering fire of the burning fireplace. It failed to warm him, however, nothing really did when he was alone.

Ivan thought of going to get some vodka, maybe that would warm him a little? He found himself not able to move much though, just sinking down onto his couch and curling up a little, he sighed... his mind was attacking him again. Usually he tried not to listen to it... but today the voices were winning over, and he agreed with them. He didn't deserve the vodka, he didn't deserve to forget or to be warm. It was selfish even to think about that.

He missed his friend already, somewhere in his heart, that had slipped out on the way back to the couch, he hoped that the other would come back. He was the glue that held him together, that made him forget his land's pain and scars. The one person who stayed with him, was happy to talk to him... and missed him back when he was gone. Sure, they were different in many ways, but similar in the ways that counted. They got into fights a lot, over stupid things, but Ivan still loved him... He had the bad feeling that he wasn't going to see him again.

The one gone, was a kind man, he had given him so many chances... and Ivan tried, he tried to play nice and to be good... To not get angry or upset... but he always ended up slipping. Feeling an overwhelming desire, an odd desire that he got through his whole life when ever he was sad, come upon him once more. He wanted to go home. Yet, he found himself sitting inside his home, he never really felt like it was home though. His sisters always said that home is where your heart is, but that was hard to find when your heart was always falling out. He always assumed that home was where you were happy... but he had never been happy unless he had his friend around. Home was with him.

Now he was gone, though, and Ivan found himself alone. Getting up, he found his feet sluggishly taking him outside, where he stood in the now. "I'm sorry! Matvey! I didn't mean it..." He called out, but his voice was lost in the whirling winds and blowing snow. He stood out there for at least an hour, before sinking into the pile of snow on his feet. He was so cold... but he wouldn't go inside, inside was lonely, and maybe he would come back... he had to wait for him.

He was starting to find it hard to stay awake, now, though... it was so cold... but he had long stopped his shivering, and instead he was staring up into the snow, watching the flakes twirl by in a happy dance. Dancing in a ball room, with a million partners. But he couldn't dance with them... he was missing his partner, missing him very much... and he was so tired. "Matvey I'm sorry... Please come home... I miss you." He called, his voice weak now. There were frozen streaks down his cheeks, but he had long stopped caring, instead he simply let his dry eyes close... maybe when he woke, Matthew would be there.

* * *

**This fic is for my Roleplayer, who I care for deeply.  
She is the Canada to my Russia, and I accidentally hurt her.  
To her, I am sorry, please come back.  
**

**To anyone who has read my other story and was hoping for me to add a little to it, I will no longer be writing Russia until my friend returns. If she returns.  
I will likely not write much anymore.  
Thanks for reading, sorry it's sad, bye.**


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